Dear, Younger Self…are you listening?

If you could go back and tell your younger self anything, what would it be? Here’s what I’d tell me -

I remember, shortly after moving back to the Midwest after living on the East Coast for a while, how lost I felt. I was going through a very difficult time in my life in my early 20’s, and feeling like I had no idea who I was, who I wanted to be, what path I wanted to take, and much less — what would get me there.

Here’s something they don’t tell you in high school — almost everyone goes through this difficult time in their early 20’s. It looks different for everyone, but it’s real. This is one of the most transitional periods of your life you will ever face, from literal childhood to adulthood. None of us are in it alone, but we all feel like we are.

After coming back home, I felt the pleasure of my dreams turning into pressure. I felt suffocated by the need to provide myself stability and security over fueling my creativity and passion. Was it possible to have both, I wondered? Who really got that in life? The rich? The lucky? Were the rich the only ones lucky enough to have the unencumbered opportunity to explore that freedom?

I see now that over-thinking has never gotten me anywhere — never gotten any of us anywhere. If we sit around wondering and contemplating, we will have missed our chances to act. And taking action is what helps us discover the answers to our most present and pressing questions… we figure things out by doing — not by over-thinking. If we’re willing to work hard enough, we can do anything.

Moving to the East Coast was a big move for me in many ways in my life. I wasn’t afraid to explore who I was or my environment in those formative years, but when I came back to the Midwest, I felt like I had failed and the life I saw for myself was no more. All I had ever pictured and wanted was a big NYC story for myself. I got it, in a way… but it didn’t last as long as I pictured. I can write it as a chapter instead of a life.

The East Coast, in many ways, was fun and helped me grow, but was also a bit of a brutal wake-up call into adulthood.

Should I have stayed, I often wondered? Was I on the right path? What was next? Who was I now? (I know… I put a lot of pressure on myself. If you’re a fellow over-thinker, I’m sure you can relate.)

The truth is — no one knows “what’s next.” We can plan, but we can also change. Sometimes the change in our lives is out of our control. I guess that’s what the great joke in life is — that we think at some point we’ll have it all figured out, but we never do. We may grow wiser, smarter, or more comfortable as we age (if we pay attention to our experiences), but there’s always something new to learn about the world and ourselves, no matter our years.

If I could go back and tell my younger self something, especially during those difficult times, it would be to never give up on myself or sell myself short, it takes real bravery to pursue your dreams, you can create new dreams, and over-thinking everything will take the fun and chances to act out of life. Don’t worry so much. Life will happen. Do what you want to do. Try new things. Take care of your heart. Take life one day at a time.

Oh! — And stop putting so much pressure on yourself and just enjoy your time, will you?

When I moved back to the Midwest, there was an Instagram ad by Covergirl calling for submissions to apply for a social media marketing position. I applied, had the chance to interview, and turned the interview down due to the location of the job itself and my feelings of uncertainty about what was “next” for me. I thought I wanted to be a dietitian and make an even bigger career change. (Those who know me, know I’m still a digital marketer today and did not become a dietitian.) Sometimes I still think about that, wondering what would’ve happened if I went back to NYC to interview.

Of course, I’ll never know.

I’m happy with where I’m at now — don’t get me wrong! I have a great job that gives me the flexibility I need to support my hobbies in the evenings (and the stability to support my autoimmune disease 24/7). Life is good in many ways.

All I mean to inspire is some thought for your present self. You will always wonder about those big chances you don’t take, so take them. Nothing is permanent. You can always change your mind — go and grow! Being afraid sometimes just means you care.

You may find out that you’re right and don’t want to pivot. You may feel reinvigorated and ready to step outside of your comfort zone again. But you will never know how you feel about any big chances in life unless you act on them. You can’t get out of taking action by over-thinking. Only doing will do that.

Oh, and hey — if you haven’t figured it out yet, none of us are making it out of life alive. Make big moves if you want to. Live the life you want.

Don’t be afraid to want new things as you go and grow.

Don’t be afraid to find out your path is different than you originally envisioned.

Don’t be afraid to find a new self as you navigate. Actually, you're lucky if you do, because it will have meant you’ve grown. You can always say “no.”

Don’t be afraid to embrace life, and its many directions.

Most of all, embrace yourself throughout your journey. You will always have so many obstacles facing you. You don’t need to be another one.

Now it’s your turn — what would you tell your younger self if you could now? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.